I've not posted since Monday because we've been dealing with an event here that has knocked the wind out of me for the past couple of days.

My husband was in the running for a different job within the company that he works for. He had his interview Monday afternoon and came home so positive and upbeat and feeling really,really good that he would get it.

This was the break that we all were praying for. It would be a move up for him, a better, more challenging position and, yes, more $. Quite a bit more $ actually. We were praying, the kids were praying, our friends were all praying for us.

He didn't get it.

Bad enough that he didn't get it, the person that they did choose over my husband is a not-so-nice man.

It was bad enough to see my husbands hopes and dreams defeated, it is a very,very bitter pill to swallow that he was beat out by the likes of this other man.

Honestly, this has rocked my faith, which has been rather shaky here lately to begin with, more than I want to admit.

Tuesday, I cried. All. Day.
Yesterday, I was angry most of the day. I really am tired of being angry. I wasn't an angry child, but I certainly was an angry teen/young adult. I don't know if its because I'm nearer to 40 than to 30 these days or what, but I am tired of being angry. It just wears me out, and tends to hurt my beloved ones.

Everyone keeps telling us that when God closes a door, he opens a window.
Yes, I know that. I hope so anyway. I hope this happened for a reason and a purpose. I hope the Lord has something better in store for my husband, my family.
I hope, I hope, I hope.
That's all I've got to cling to these days, hope.
And some days my grip on it isn't all that strong.

Frugal Friday

This chair was priced $14.99 at the thrift store. The manager marked it down an extra 25% because I was taking it with me. I may try my hand at reupholstering it this summer. Although I do like it the way it is now, nice and vintage-y. Its going to be my "prayer chair". I finally have a corner in my bedroom where I can put this chair, a small table and lamp and use it to sit at to pray or read or write or just be still and know God.

After I dropped the boys off to work on the robot, I went and did some grocery shopping. Oh boy, it was nice to go shopping on a Thursday night rather than on a weekend. I usually have to wait until Fridays to shop, as that day is payday and sometimes the bank account is a little low by Thursday night. This week, I had extra $. At Meijer, I was able to find chicken legs and thighs for .69 a pound. I stocked up! 5 packs of thighs and 3 packs of legs, cost me about $8 and some change. Frozen veggies were a great deal at .78 a package. Cabbage (of course) was a steal at .25 a pound. We grew cabbage last year in our garden. If you would have told me before last year that cabbage could be sweet, I'd of laughed my tail off, but it is! I can't wait to get gardening. In fact, my grandmother always swore by planting her peas and potatoes on St. Patricks day. I may just pick up a package of pea seeds this weekend and give it a try.

Martins had a good sale on some store brand items, ketchup .59, baked beans .69, canned veggies 4/$1. They were limited amounts though, limit 2 and 4. I HATE that. I know I could go back a couple of times, but I do hate the hassle. If I have the family with me, I sometimes send each person through the line with the limited items, the store card (again, I HATE those things. I refuse to shop at Krogers because of it, but I caved to Martins.) and $$.

I'll be at Aldis later today. Friday isn't the best day of the week to shop at Aldi's, but I've found if you go over the noon hour, its not quite so bad. I won't be needing much from there today. Cereal, cheese, produce.

I'm hoping I can do a cost analysis of all of our meals this week and see just where all the $ is going and then I can figure a strategy to plug the leak.

I also bought a bottle of Sam-e from the health food store today. This is my last attempt to treat this depression naturally. If this doesn't work, I'm going to have to give in and call my doctor. I hate the idea of medication, I just hate it. I know lots of other people take it and have gotten much benefits, but personally, for me, it just feels like yet another way I've failed at my life. Totally irrational, I know. But that's how I feel even if how I feel is subject to change at any given moment. :)