I've not posted since Monday because we've been dealing with an event here that has knocked the wind out of me for the past couple of days.

My husband was in the running for a different job within the company that he works for. He had his interview Monday afternoon and came home so positive and upbeat and feeling really,really good that he would get it.

This was the break that we all were praying for. It would be a move up for him, a better, more challenging position and, yes, more $. Quite a bit more $ actually. We were praying, the kids were praying, our friends were all praying for us.

He didn't get it.

Bad enough that he didn't get it, the person that they did choose over my husband is a not-so-nice man.

It was bad enough to see my husbands hopes and dreams defeated, it is a very,very bitter pill to swallow that he was beat out by the likes of this other man.

Honestly, this has rocked my faith, which has been rather shaky here lately to begin with, more than I want to admit.

Tuesday, I cried. All. Day.
Yesterday, I was angry most of the day. I really am tired of being angry. I wasn't an angry child, but I certainly was an angry teen/young adult. I don't know if its because I'm nearer to 40 than to 30 these days or what, but I am tired of being angry. It just wears me out, and tends to hurt my beloved ones.

Everyone keeps telling us that when God closes a door, he opens a window.
Yes, I know that. I hope so anyway. I hope this happened for a reason and a purpose. I hope the Lord has something better in store for my husband, my family.
I hope, I hope, I hope.
That's all I've got to cling to these days, hope.
And some days my grip on it isn't all that strong.